Watson: Vampires in the 22nd century? Not likely.
But as Sherlock Holmes always says,
"when you've eliminated the impossible,
"whatever remains, no matter how improbable,
must be the truth."
[telephone rings]
central computer access reporting.
All quiet here. Good night.
[hisses]
huh? Aah!
Sherlock Holmes.
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Watson!
Brought Sherlock Holmes back to life.
Back to life.
It's elementary, my dear Watson.
♪ Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd century ♪
Watson!
Sherlock Holmes is on the case.
Moriarty.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Sherlock Holmes is on the case.
♪ Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd century ♪
elementary, my dear Watson.
Holmes: What do you make of this, Watson?
Newscaster: A 22nd century Dracula struck in Sussex late last night.
After terrorizing a security guard,
the creature's image was captured by security cameras.
A Sussex county's computer system had been drained of every drop of data.
Byte-sucking vampire or computer-generated count?
All we know is, the good folks of Sussex county are not laughing.
Well?
Insufficient data, I'm afraid.
No doubt.
Speaking of which, lestrade should be calling any moment now.
Holmes, I need your help.
I've been expecting your call, lestrade.
I believe the Sussex vampire has struck again.
How did you--oh, never mind, I should be used to it by now.
Uh, meet me at new London firstbank main branch, financial district.
Immediately!
Come, Watson. There is an unauthorized withdrawal in progress.
Holmes: What happened last night was likely a dry run,
a practice session.
This so-called Sussex vampire was just warming up.
It would not be content with a few boring county records.
Hmm. I say, Watson.
Can you find out when the county's back-up system will be operational?
I'll check with them first thing in the morning.
They Don't work in the middle of the night out in the countryside, you know.
Only vampires do that.
Or criminals.
Lestrade: This perp has gotten more daring,
and the bank's computers are time-locked inside a high-security vault,
but that didn't stop him.
Somehow he got in... And he's still there.
Really? How do you know?
[evil laugh]
ugh, he's laughing at us. As well he may.
The sucker changed the vault codes on us.
Not even the royal bank examiner could get in now.
Holmes: Really? How did--
finally! The heavy artillery is here.
Wait until this ionic Cannon does its thing.
That smirking perp won't be laughing then.
This should be interesting.
I have not seen one of these particular devices in action yet,
for all the good it will do in capturing our elusive felon.
Lestrade: [shouting] just a few more centimeters of steel
and the jaws of justice will put the bite on our caped criminal!
After all this destruction, one would hope so.
Those galactosteel vault doors are a full meter thick, Holmes.
They were designed to withstand a nuclear war.
Ah, but nothing can withstand our lestrade.
She is a force of nature unto herself.
Holmes: Look, Watson, how she enjoys her work.
Lestrade: Gotcha now!
Huh? Wait a minute.
Uh, this can't be. He was here a moment ago.
Watson: And now, it appears, he is gone.
Or never was.
Lestrade: Ugh, dead.
Just like the computer in Sussex county. He drained it.
[wrist phone rings] oh, what now?
Lestrade, this is chief inspector greyson.
I'm going to be personally supervising this investigation.
I'll be there momentarily.
Don't do anything rash, lestrade.
Oh, no. Wait till he sees this mess.
I believe that's our cue to leave, Watson.
And Don't let chief inspector greyson grind you down, lestrade.
The game is afoot,
and you may have your culprit sooner than you think.
Woman: Oh, here he comes.
Watson: Irregulars, come to order.
Holmes: As you know,
the first step in solving a mystery
is to gather all the relevant facts and data.
Tennyson, you will examine the Sussex county database for irregularities.
Look for anything that seems out of place,
even if it appears totally insignificant.
[beeping]
deidre, you will research the rather bizarre theatrical imagery
affected by this...
Alleged vampire.
Watson has prepared a video disk for your perusal.
Study it well. You may see what others have missed.
I'm on it! You know, mr. Holmes,
you could be way off-base.
What if he's for real?
Do you mean a real vampire?
I reread bram stoker's Dracula last night.
I found it most engaging... For a work of fiction.
Fiction, yes, but the legends it was based on are older than...
Well, you, for example.
You'd best not take it so lightly, mr. Holmes.
I am surprised our deidre would be so...Superstitious.
After all, we've known for 3 centuries
that there's no such thing as vampires.
Wiggins, you and Watson will be staking out
the greater new London computer center,
starting at sundown.
I should bring my stakes, then?
Ha ha. And your flask of holy water as well,
though I fear they will not deter a modern-day vampire
which feeds on electrical data.
Watch yourself, Watson!
Remember, you are a walking data bank.
If some sort of data-sucking fiend is loose in the city,
just think what an irresistible target you would be.
Dear me! I never thought of that.
Wiggins: It's cold enough to freeze the nose off lord Nelson's statue.
Not that you'd know what I mean, you being a droid and all.
Young wiggins, I may be a droid,
but I register ambient temperature most precisely.
Although it causes me no lack of comfort,
I see that is not true of you.
That's using the old eyes and brains, Watson.
Tell you the truth, I'd welcome a vampire right about now.
Anything to get my blood going.
Bela lugosi and Christopher Lee,
now they were scary.
Makes me want to crawl under the covers,
watching them play their vampire roles.
Oh, I Don't care what Holmes says.
That vampire looks real to me.
Wait! What have we here?
Well, well, well.
A vampire with a sense of fashion.
I thought only downtown trendies my age
were doing their pointers up yellow.
Wonder what Holmes will make of that?
Holmes: Ah, Tennyson, what have you found?
[beeping]
you say there may be 2 vampires?
Hmm, Watson may be in more danger than I thought.
Tennyson, come. We'll have need of your skills.
[shivers]
I say, wiggins, why Don't you go get some hot liquids?
My sensors indicate your surface temperature is falling rapidly.
But Holmes told us to stick together.
He was very insistent on that, remember?
There is a vending machine in the central computer center.
Watson: Use it.
That's an order, wiggins!
Holmes would not want you catching your death of pneumonia, now, would he?
All right. Watch yourself, Watson.
I'll be right back.
Watch myself, the boy says.
Now how am I supposed to do that
without remote sensors, I ask you?
Wiggins, back already? Wiggins, is that you?
Answer me!
[hisses]
who...What are you?
[hisses]
nooo!
Get away!
Holmes: Back, I say!
Are you all right, Watson?
Er, yes, but...Holmes, I'm embarrassed to say,
I was afraid!
You are not programmed for arbitrary self-endangerment, Watson.
And a good thing that is, for I have need of you!
Wiggins: Did I miss anything?
Mr. Holmes, Don't be angry.
I know we weren't supposed to split up.
My fault. I sent him off.
No matter, the watch is over.
The bird has shown, and the bird has flown.
We can go home now and--
[gasps] what?
[siren blares]
lestrade: Come on!
Wiggins: What's going on?
I was wrong. Our bird has not flown after all.
Watson: What's that? Could it be--
[all gasp]
the vampire!
[hisses]
I command you to halt!
[hisses]
you cannot command what you do not understand.
[hisses]
[gasps]
Tennyson, did you see that--
that thing?!
More importantly, can you track it?
[beeps]
come on! Let's do it!
Lestrade: Do what?
Holmes, you can't endanger these kids any further.
That creature is dangerous.
That is debatable, lestrade.
Tell that to the greater new London's database. It just crashed.
Now, lestrade.
Furthermore, if there's any tracking to be done,
I'm the one who's gonna do it.
Now go home, kids. That's an order.
You heard inspector lestrade.
Come, irregulars, let us get our rest.
Tomorrow shall be a big day.
I didn't mean you, Holmes!
I know that. Good night, lestrade.
Ugh!
Oh, yes, tomorrow will be a very big day.
Man: That's correct, sir.
There were no fingerprints. No DNA residue.
No debris from the crushed holodisk.
Just as I thought.
I know what you're thinking, sir. It sounds crazy to me, too.
It was like the creature never existed.
But I saw it with my own eyes!
I do not doubt you saw it.
In fact, I am certain you did.
And the strangest thing, sir--
the next morning, the database was all back.
Like it had never been gone!
Just like the bank.
And the central new London computer.
Come, Watson, we have learned all we can here.
We must track this alleged vampire to its lair.
Holmes: Tennyson, is the creature's electronic signature
still strong enough to follow?
[beep]
[beeps]
Holmes: Good. Lead on, then. Hurry!
We must find this vampire's den before the sun sets.
But not for the reason you think.
A little reporting in,
is that too much to ask from the great detective?
Unh.
[beeps]
no signs of life ahead, Holmes.
Good. We may take the creature by surprise yet.
[hissing]
not likely, Holmes. I'm warning you--
go back to the surface while you still can.
It is dangerous here.
Empty threats and idle talk, vampire.
You are not what you appear to be.
I shall unmask you.
Never!
Give up! You cannot get away!
Huh?
[beeping]
you're sure it went inside?
My sensors indicate signs of life beyond this wall.
As does my intuition.
Therefore, there has to be a way inside.
Hmm. Aha!
Not exactly the greatest security arrangement.
Wiggins, Tennyson, deidre,
perhaps you should wait here.
Not on your life, mr. Holmes.
There's safety in numbers.
Am I right, irregulars?
[beeping]
I agree. Besides, I have to find out where that vampire thingy
buys its nail Polish.
I'm so tired of ordering mine off the Internet.
Oh, all right, but no heroics.
Huh? I could have sworn I heard something.
Hey! There's no way out!
But I saw them go in here.
Man: Yes, it boggles the mind, doesn't it, officer lestrade?
And the smaller the mind, the bigger the boggle.
Moriarty, you're under arrest.
You have no authority in the underground, lestrade.
But I do.
Cuff her, fenwick.
With pleasure.
Oh, must you both be so theatrical?
But of course, inspector lestrade.
By the way, I must thank you for leading me to the vampire's lair.
That creature has outfoxed me for the last time.
Now it will become my ally
or be entombed down here forever.
[evil laughter]
stand back.
[evil laughter]
[screeching]
aah! Bats!
You're as brave as you are beautiful, fenwick.
You stay here with lestrade. I will track the vampire.
[eerie organ music playing]
well, we meet at last.
Lay down your arms, mortal,
or face the wrath of the vampire!
Surely you can do better than that...
Sherlock Holmes!
Yes, one would do well to deceive the master of deceit.
And someone has.
There is no vampire, moriarty-- unless one counts you,
who feeds on the hard-earned credits of law-abiding innocents.
Oh, Holmes, quit preaching at me.
Of course there's a vampire. I've seen it in action.
It has interfered with my plans.
Why else would I be here?
[squeaking]
stop this charade at once
or your young stage assistants will pay the price.
As you wish. The game is over, my friends.
Let the man be.
Blast you, moriarty!
Now, Holmes, where is this vampire I seek?
Speak out or your friends shall suffer my wrath.
[gasps]
aah!
Do not hurt these innocent mortals. It is me you want.
How right you are.
[evil laughter]
my new partner in crime.
Lestrade: Partner this, moriarty!
Lestrade: Hyah!
Nice work, lestrade.
You're under arrest, moriarty.
Lesson number one:
Never cuff a cop with her own cuffs--
she might know how to get out of them.
And this time, your little beauty queen
won't be around to help you out.
I need no man's help to escape the likes of you, yardie.
Don't panic. Moriarty is gone.
And I doubt he'll be back.
At least not immediately.
You may reveal yourself now,
miss Amanda wheelright.
[hisses] how did you...
Well, I guess I Don't have to disguise my voice anymore.
You caught me red-handed, mr. Holmes.
Red and yellow handed, to be precise.
I should have known you'd notice.
[beeps]
what'd he say?
Tennyson says that you are anything but dumb.
He has never met anyone who could hack as well as you,
well, except himself of course.
And he thinks you are rather attractive as well.
[beeps]
I hate to be the one to put the damper on the festivities,
but, young lady, you have a lot of explaining to do.
I'm afraid I have to place you under arrest.
Now, lestrade, Amanda was just doing her civic duty.
Oh, really? And how do you figure that?
Elementary, my dear lestrade.
You see, our miss Amanda is a genius in many ways.
Holmes: While hacking into the Sussex county database--
searching, according to Tennyson--
for the home address of a certain holovideo star
who has an estate in the area--
Amanda: I know it was wrong, mr. Holmes. I shouldn't have done it.
I just wanted to send him a birthday card.
Kids.
While illegally inside the system,
Amanda discovered she was not alone.
There was another intruder in the system. Moriarty!
He was tagging certain financial data,
leading Amanda to conclude that this misadventure was but a prelude
to bigger and better data thefts.
So Amanda decided to beat him to the punch,
hoping her attack would alert the authorities
to certain inherent weaknesses in the system.
Amanda created a vampire avatar which she felt would draw public attention
to the problem of data theft.
She deleted the entire Sussex county database,
but then immediately restored the system,
not wishing to do any real harm.
To convince us that the vampire was real,
she crushed a holovideo disk.
But there was no debris-- because it was a recording!
Then she used the exact same sequence again
during the firstbank data theft.
She designed her vampire based on 200-year-old black-and-white movies.
But couldn't resist adding her own colorful touches,
such as fingernails decorated in a manner
common only among young, fashion-conscious new London girls,
as our deidre was quick to notice.
But however, she did not count on our Tennyson's ability
to examine Sussex county's data back-up system
and discovered not one, but 3 unauthorized intrusions--
one by her, another by moriarty,
and the final one by her vampire creation.
Unfortunately, the authorities did not react fast enough,
leaving it up to her to thwart moriarty's continuing efforts
to steal the firstbank and greater new London databases
by getting there first.
Am I correct, Amanda?
To the Max-o!
So there never was a vampire.
And there never were any data thefts.
The databases were restored when moriarty was no longer a threat.
We should give miss wheelright a medal, lestrade!
Yes, but Amanda should have come to the police in the first place,
even if it meant admitting that she was hacking into the system illegally.
As a result of this masquerade, people were frightened,
not to mention that considerable property damage was incurred.
Most of which was caused by you, lestrade.
I am sure Amanda will do community service
in penance for her unauthorized transgression
and agree never to violate the law again.
Right, Amanda?
Just keep that creep moriarty out of my life.
I shall do my best.
That is my sole reason for being, Amanda.
Come, let us go.
Deidre: Say, Amanda, where do you buy your nail Polish?
[all laugh]
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